so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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