honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
