Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
