you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
this boner is exhausting
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
