She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
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