Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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