i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
