You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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