Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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