you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I can't turn off my feet"
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
