she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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