what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize