...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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