..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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