Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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