Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
