I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize
