Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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