Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
