Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
