I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
