Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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