i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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