is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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