On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
