Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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