why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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