You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
her facebook's as public as her vagina
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
