I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
