i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
