There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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