You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
