Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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