I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
