So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Damn victory sex feels great
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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