It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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