like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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