Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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