shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize