he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Randomize
