i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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