Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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