I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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