Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize