WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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