i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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