I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
wow bdsm is so cute
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
