Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
