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She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
