she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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