He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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