he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
