i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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