Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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