this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
