im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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