I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize