I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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