The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize