No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
