sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
