im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
