I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Dicks are not precious.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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