id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
