I am puke
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
