Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
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