Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
You were trust falling into bushes
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
