I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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